I'm still here

I have not had anything to update really.  I'm still here and taking one day at a time on my diet.  I haven't weighed in since last Thursday, mainly because I just haven't had a chance.  I didn't get out of work on time on Friday to get there and on Saturday, I was home with the baby and couldn't get there before they closed.

Well, okay, if I'm honest with yself, that's only half the reason I didn't weigh in.  I really didn't have much time, but I guess I could have tried harder to weigh in on Saturday.  I didn't because I want to have a few days to get myself back on track so I can see a loss again.  I didn't want to see another bad number on the scale.

I keep reminding myself why I am doing this:  I don't want to be fat anymore.  So, really, it's all about me.  If I cheat, I'm just cheating myself.

Tomorrow is my next weigh in, so I'm hoping and praying that the scale is good to me!

Refocus Fatty McFatty, Refocus

Breathe in, breathe out.  Yes, I'm still pissed and hate the scale right now.  But no, I'm not about to throw all the hard work I've put into my weight loss so far.  So what am I going to do about it?  Refocus.

Why am I doing this?  Because I don't want to be fat anymore. 

So, if I give up and have a whopper and fries because I have a bad weigh in, I'll always be fat.  (Although I have to admit that whoppers haven't been my problem - for me, it was the wine.) 

So, I didn't have have whoppers or wine.  I made sure that I got all my food in and then after dinner, I decided to do my 30DS and Shred It DVD's. 

I have to admit that I feel a little bit better.  I'm still pissed at the scale though.

I hate you scale!

Well sadly, I am reporting more bad news today.  I went for my weigh in and I weighed 212.4.  What the fluck?  I have not cheated one bit on my diet.  I drink the prescribed shakes, eat my one meal a day, have not complained and yet, I gain weight.  I don't know how this happened.  The lady that was working said that I might not be getting enough calories in because there have been a few times when I have not eaten all of the food.  Like, last night I didn't even get home until 8:30 pm so I just warmed up some soup (not on the diet), but it was lowfat and I'm SURE it was better than stopping at McDonald's.....or so I thought.  I bet if I would have had the McDonald's the scale would still have been the same today. 

So after this setback I am down to only 16.4 pounds lost.   I'm definitely in the hole this week and I'm very disappointed.  I need to make sure I'm only eating the foods on my plan and not deviating. 

I guess I'll work out tonight and hope and pray that Saturday brings better news.

What the heck?!

Yesterday I went for my weigh in and I gained .6 pounds!  Freaking scale!  I don't know how this happened.  I've been so good.  I've been working out.  I haven't been eating crap.  So how did this happen? 

Could it possibly be because I weighed in at the end of the day?  *sigh* I'm just so frustrated because there is no reason for the scale to not be good to me.  So, to sum it up, if I count that damn .6 gain, I've lost a total of 17.6 pounds.  Tomorrow I weigh in again, and the scale WILL go down - it has to.

Here are my weekly stats so far.  I am on week 6 right now:
  

Week #	lb. lost this week
1	3
2	3
3	3.8
4	5.2
5	3.2

So, putting things in perspective, I've guess done well so far, and I shouldn't let one bad weigh in get me down.  I'm just bummed that I'm starting out week 6 with a -6 defiicit.  I was kind of hoping to reach my 3rd goal of 20 pounds lost by this Thursday, but now my plan is in jeopardy because instead of having to lose 1.8 pounds to get to that goal, I know have to lose 2.4. 

So, even though I had a crappy weigh in yesterday, I didn't drown my sorrows in oreo cookies.  Nope, I just cussed the scale out, refocused, and got more determined than ever. 

I also got my Lipo shot yesterday (the B12 cocktail I talked about before).  I wasn't "technically" supposed to get it until Thursday, but the girl that was working is pregnant and I think she had a little bit of preggo brain going on and said that it was time to get my shot, so, being the opportunist that I am, I didn't stop her.  I wanted to change my shot days anyway and I figured that my mood needed a boost after that damn weigh in LOL.

Today's work out consisted of doing Level 1 of the 30 Day Shred.  I was tempted to do my Shred It DVD again too, but I decided not to because after I did both on Sunday, my body has hurt in places I had forgotten existed and I want to see how my body feels afer I do just the 30 DS.  I wasn't wimping out though because I love the burn after a good work out.  I love it when I tighten my butt cheeks and feel my muscles.  Reminds me that there really is muscle there and not just fat HAHAHA.

I saw these and thought they were funny :)

I Feel Goooooooooooooooooooood!

Well, I didn't work out yesterday like I planned.  Not that I was doing anything else, I just wasn't doing that, I guess.

So today I redeemed myself and did both the 30 Day Shred (Level 1) - OHMYGOD it's HARD! and the Shred It (Level 1) DVD's!  Like I said, I feel goooooooood!  I didn't intend to do both, but after Jillian Michaels kicking my @ss all the way through the 30 Day Shred DVD and saying, "push through it" and "don't give up", I guess I just felt inspired to get my @ss kicked by her some more by doing the Shred It workout. 

I still think that the Shred It is my fave!  I love weight/cardio combo workouts.  I used to do Body Pump many years ago at the gym and love love loved it!  When I moved, the new gym I went to had a different version of it and it just wasn't the same.  Plus the instructor at my old gym was a guy and he seriously was a hard ass.  I loved it.  But now that I'm much fatter and much more out of shape, I'll take my small victories where I can get them....like the Jillian Michaels Shred It DVD.  :P

Not to mention that I just love Jillian Michaels in general.  I know that she's a celebrity, but it really feels like she has her heart in it and WANTS to help me get in shape.  I believe her :).  I saw her in person when I was in Paris, France...she was staying at the same hotel we were at.  She's absolutely gorgeous in person and she's thistiny.  I didn't recognize her at first and kept on saying to myself, "who was that?".  Paula Abdul kept popping in my head for some reason, but it didn't seem right.  Then, of course, after the opportunity had passed to tell her how much I love her, I realized that it was THE Jillian Michaels. 

Haha, it's funny too because that was when I was at my fattest.  I was holding my baby who was seven months at the time, he had a horribly stinky diaper and I was a hot mess, and here is this gorgeous celebrity standing in front of me.  She turned around and gave me the biggest, warmest smile and I could tell she felt sorry for me.  Probably a) because I was so fat and out of shape, I'm sure she was thinking....I could fix that,  b) because I looked bad...we had just arrived after travelling for three hours in a van with TWO screaming kids and I may have pulled a few hairs out, and c) you could smell my sons smelly diaper from a block away...it was that bad! 

So now, let's get back to reason two why I feel sooooooooooo gooooooooood!  My clothes are starting to get loose on me!  YAY!  I love the feeling of loose clothes....it makes me feel good :)  I like feeling my yoga pants swishing around on my legs a little bit and not having them be skin tight.  I like that someone is maybe thinking, "her clothes don't fit" not because they are too tight, but because they are too loose!  I LOVE IT! 

So, yes, I feel GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

oooohhhhhh I feel GOOD today!

Went for my weigh in today - 210.4 THANKYOUVERYMUCH!  Wooohooo, that is now 18.2 pounds lost since December 18, 2010!  That definitely help keep the motivation going to continue.  I have to admit that I did have some wine last night too, so who knows what my number would have been if I hadn't drank that.  Hmmmm, I definitely need to have more willpower and stay away from that stuff until I meet my goal weight.

That means that I met my second goal today - getting to 210!  My first goal was to get to 215...

I am setting my third goal - and that is to get to 20 pounds lost.  That's only 1.8 pounds I have to lose and I hope to do that by this Thursday, January 27th.

It's snowing pretty hard here today so my plan is to do my Jillian Michaels DVD.  Maybe I'll try my new 30 Day Shred DVD.  I sprained my ankle, so I'm a little leary of jumping around a lot on it.  Oh well, I'll preview the video and if it looks doable, I'll take it on.  If not, I'll stick with my Shred It Kettlebell DVD.  I love that one anyway.

Weighed in today

I weighed in today and it was the same as Tuesday....212.4!  BOO!!!   Well, I guess it's only been two days and I'm glad it wasn't more, but darn it, it's the first time I've weighed in and I haven't lost so I was really disappointed.

I have to admit though that I didn't follow my meal plan that great the last couple of days.  I did do the shakes like I'm supposed to but last night for dinner I had some nachos that my husband had left over.  And I also had an extra snack bar.  So hopefully since the nachos were salty and I haven't been taking in that much sodium I'm just retaining a little water and will see better results when I weigh in on Saturday.

I also got my Lipo shot today (that's what they call them - it has B12, CoQ10, and some other stuff in it).  I get those shots twice a week and I really think it a) helps with my mood and b) really does help me lose weight. 

For a workout, I did the Jillian Michaels Shred-It DVD.  It's only 28 minutes, but it's a good workout and I love it.  I always get a really good sweat and feel like I worked my muscles, which they definitely need!

Progress Pictures

This is a picture taken about two weeks after I started my weight loss.  It was taken 1/3/2011 and 7.2 pounds lost:

Here is four weeks and 16.2 pounds lost:

Pictures

Here's a picture of me before I got fat.  This is what I want to look like again!

And here is a picture of me taken in September 2010.  This is "the picture" that made me realize how fat I had gotten.  I can honestly say that until I saw this picture, I didn't realize how big I really was.

Okay, so let's talk about my starting weight

OH.MY.GOD. my starting weight was 228.6!!!!!  That is the fattest I have ever been.  My BMI was 34.76 - that's considered morbidly obese!  Are you f'ing kidding me?  How in the world did I let myself get this way?  Well, I'll tell you how, in exactly the order that it happened:

• Drinking red wine every single night.  Take my advice - DON'T DO THIS!  Wine has so many calories in it and if you are not burning the calories off, they quickly add up.
• Eating too much food!  My portion sizes were totally out of control and I was probably intaking at least 1000 more calories (between food and the wine) per day than I should have been.
• Eating the wrong kind of food.  I was really good at getting "food amnesia" and "fogetting" what I had eaten throughout the day.  I also started to just neglect the labels on food packages so I didn't have to see how much fat/carbs I was taking in.

The funny thing is that I didn't use to be fat.  Actually, I looked pretty damn good in 2005, but since September 2005 I had put on almost 70 pounds.  I could try to blame some of my weight on having a baby in January 2010, but that's not the truth...I didn't gain the weight because of the baby.  As a matter of fact, I only gained about 23 pounds when I was pregnant and I lost all of that when I was breastfeeding.  But after I stopped when he was seven months, I didn't adjust my caloric intake and I swear that I gained 15 pounds in two or three weeks.  Well, it probably was longer than that, but if felt like it happened that fast.

Finding My Skinny Bitch!

Well, I'm getting started on this blog about a month in to my weight loss.  My first day was December 18, 2010.  I made the decision that it was TIME to lose weight and decided that I wanted to try Medical Weight Loss Clinic.  I went that day.  It wasn't cheap, let me tell you, but I decided to go for it because I needed some "skin in the game" to hold myself accountable.

My first weigh in was 228.6 pounds.  Since day one I have lost 16.2 pounds as of yesterday.  I am so excited!  I feel very motivated and the "diet" itself has been pretty easy.  I'm on the Jump Start program and drink 4 shakes a day and eat one meal.  I'm supposed to eat pretty specific things for the meal, but I don't really follow that too close.  I kind of feel like I'm restricting myself already by only eating one meal a day and if I put limits on what I can eat, then I'm more likely to fail.  So basically, I'm just making sure that I use good portion control and don't overeat.

The shakes are actually pretty good.  During the day at work, I mix the mocha shake wiith coffee and it tastes like a yummy coffee drink.  I just sip on these all day at work and I never feel hungry.  Each shake has 15 grams of protein!

I have been taking progress pictures so I will post those.  I've only taken a few, but I'll probably update my pics every two weeks with full body pics so I can see my progress.