For fatties like me that are trying to lose weight, there is usually a trigger or "event" that starts the weight loss. For me, the event was I finally saw myself as other people were seeing me when I was on vacation with my husband's family in France. I knew I had gained quite a bit of weight, but I guess I was just blocking it out until then.
So, there I was in France with my husband's family (his parents, brothers and their wives), my mother-in-law is from France, so her sister, brother and parents were there as well. And EVERYONE is skinny (except for my father-in-law, who has some chub).
So, what I noticed was that everyone was treating me different, like not very nice, to me. Like my father-in-law (who's also fat, BTW) kept on taking pictures of of my SIL's and he would make comments like "beautiful", or "great picture", well after a while, I started to notice that he never said that when I was in the picture. I was kind of thinking well f-you, old man. But really, it hurt my feelings. My MIL, who is a snooty wench anyway was just a bitch to me the whole time. Just totally rude.
When we were in Paris, my foot was hurting really bad (bad arch, which I'm sure in part was caused by my weight). Anyway, so I am struggling to keep up with everyone and I'm walking with my fat FIL (the fatties were bringing up the caboose LOL) and all of a sudden I step wrong on a crack in the sidewalk and I went DOWN. I totally sprained my ankle, skinned my hands up and almost broke my camera. Well, everyone was seriously about three blocks ahead and there was noone to help me and we were MILES from our hotel. One of my SIL's is a nurse, so she saw me and came running back and helped me up. I happened to have tape that I had been using to tape my arch so she quickly wrapped my ankle.
So there I am in Paris, fat, sweaty, sprained ankle, and crying. Let me say, it was not a pretty picture. Bitchy MIL comes back and tells me that I have to walk to the taxi stand because they don't just stop on the side of the road there. I am not kidding when I say that I had to walk over a mile to get to a taxi stand.
Oh my gosh, I'm getting pissed again just thinking about it! She is such a bitch! She was irritated because they wanted to go see Notre Dame and I was slowing them down. She actually almost had my husband convinced to throw me in a cab with my sprained ankle and send me back to the hotel by myself, WITH the baby! I finally was like, "um husband, you are coming with me and at least getting me back to the hotel". Sorry, but I need you!
Okay, where was I going with this story? Oh yeah, I guess you could say that was my AHA moment. I had been successful up until that point to not a) get pictures taken, b) not be around bitchy judgemental people, and c) kid myself into thinking that I wasn't "that" fat.
Well, lemme tell you a little secret. You want a reality check - let someone else take pictures of you. Seriously, France was all about taking pictures and, while I tried to not be in too many of them, it couldn't be avoided at all time. So when I got home, I went through my pictures and all I kept on saying was, "wow, I cannot believe how big I am". I mean, I'm not a total idiot - I'm smart enough to realize that I can't blame every fat picture on bad lighting or a bad pose. The only thing I can blame my fat pictures on is being fat.
So, yeah, that was my AHA! moment. Even then, it still took me three months after that to commit to changing and losing weight.
So, in case you were wondering what motivates me? It's losing my fat ass so I can be skinnier than my mother-in-law. HAHA! I know that's bitchy, but I want.it.so.bad. I know I should be motivated by getting healthy and all that jazz, and I am, kind of. But really, I mostly motivated by getting skinnier than her.
She saw that I posted on FB when I first started my diet that I had lost 6 pounds and when we went to go see them over New Year's, she was like, "sooo, you're on a diet, eh?" I was like yeah. Then she asked me what kind of diet and I told her about my shakes and she was her usual bitchy self and was like, "Bob (fat FIL) used to do those when he was trying to lose weight. I could never do that." I was like, "well, it works for me so I'm going for it".
A few hours later my skinny SIL comes over and we're just catching up and bitchy MIL announces, "Fancy's on a diet". I was like, "um, that's not news" and just rolled my eyes. So now, every time she calls, she's always prying to find out how my diet is doing and I'm just like, "it's going good". She's DYING to know how much I've lost and I'm not giving her anything! HAHAHA, I know it's mean, but I think it's funny that she wants to know so bad. And I'm FOR SURE not ever going to tell her how much weight I've lost. Because she's the sneaky type of person who will take that information and then later ask me how much I currently weigh so that she can add up the numbers and find out how much I USED to weigh. Too bad lady! It's none of your damn business!
Oh, and I blocked her on FB so she can't see my posts :-P
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